Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
