Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
