He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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