see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
