Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize