So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
