i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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