i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
