I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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