Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He kissed a someone with a penis
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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