i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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