Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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