I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Randomize
