remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
