Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
