Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize