guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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