Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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