just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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