I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
