Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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