but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
