Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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