I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
