I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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