omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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