It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
