Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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