honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
