$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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