FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
