oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
