ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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