I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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