office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
