For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
