well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We have started to decorate penises.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
