you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
