Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize