seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
