Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
