god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
