There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you inspire me to be a worse person
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
