do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
