how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
