i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
