If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
