I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
