you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
