i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
