We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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