She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
