..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
