I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize