I think im going to throw up on grandma
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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