Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
