i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
