Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
