i just had sex bonerless
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
